Death

Death, I wondered how it would feel or how it would make others feel, staring at the blank prison wall in my cell which has been my companion for a good time of my life. I am man who is in a death row, tired of regretting for the sins I have brought upon this world of mine. Now I take death as a mere blessing from God for relieving me from being a sinner anymore.
I was the kind of man my boss would go to if he had any problems in getting his lent money back, he was a neat finance officer in a busy city, at least that’s how everybody knows him. He too has a dark side, me being its projection. Once he called me for a usual job as in I had to go to Mr. Jack’s home, shake him up a bit with fear being the only weapon I had and take back the money to my boss. One would expect that the usual happened but this time he sent me with a partner. There arose a situation where my boss started to doubt my work. I knew I had to prove my new partner and my boss that I’ve still got what it takes.
With that in mind, we entered the home where the client, victim rather, lived with his folks. He had two children less than five and a wife. I still pity that man for not having what he had to give us that day for his life to be spared. Not even hesitating a bit, I raised my hand punched him right on his face, in front of his family, his wife protecting her children wanting us to go away. I gave him punches one after another, his blood all over my fist. I knew that’s the time when I should leave the place, but that day I looked back at my partner, he gave a nod. I knew what he expected me to do; I pulled my gun from the holster put it right against his head. That’s when I did something that I was going to regret for the rest of my life, I looked him in his eyes. They had that acceptance, they wanted death ending all the miseries of life but those eyes moved to see his family, that’s when I pulled my trigger. That’s when I saw death in front of my eyes for the first time in my life like a baby seeing its new toy. I played with it, killed many, with a difference, without any regrets.
Do I accept death now? Yes, I thought to myself. There were times when I thought it doesn’t matter as I’m already dead, but my soul isn’t. It’s those regrets and remorse that kept me alive till today. It will all end in another few hours when they put me on that electric chair. That’s when I’ll see Mr. Jack’s eyes in my own, that acceptance in them. There’s a biblical quote, Thou salvation lies within, in my case I have never forgiven myself for what I’ve done and I don’t think this death will be my salvation but I believe it will end all my worries, my bad self among them. It’s amusing how life goes when you know when your death is going to be and mine will be at 6:30pm before which I’ll be allowed to see whomever I wish to. The only person I wish to see now is God, so no time shall be wasted.
I turn around to my prison cell gate to find a prison guard calling me for the final showdown. I bid goodbye to my prison wall, close my eyes and say “I’m coming”.